This Means War!
by Harmful Harlot
Summary: Fanfic based on a story by Amarin Rose. Pairings include: HGDM, RWPP, GWBZ, HPCC, ect. A humorous birthday gifts turns into an all out war of slogans!
1. Chapter 1

Rin: Yes, I am still going by Rin even though my username is now Dizzy Loser. I have put all my other stories on hiatus right now, but I promise you the next chapter of them will be up soon. Recently, I have read a story, a very very good and creative story if I do say so myself. This story was a Yu-Gi-Oh yaoi/hetero story consisting of many many pairings. I have just gotten permission to do a Harry Potter spin-off of the said story from Amarin Rose. Amarin Rose has given me permission to use her idea to make this story, as the idea is solely hers. Thank you, Amarin Rose. I, and I'm sure the readers/reviewers of this story appreciate it as well. Oh, and I'm treating this story as if the 6th book did not happen, because I love Dumbledore and Draco a lot.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with this story. I do not own the characters ( they belong to JK Rowling. ) I do not own the qoutes ( they belong to different people. ) and I do not own the idea. ( It belongs to Amarin Rose. ) This is the first and last time I shall say this.

Rin: So, without further adieu, I bring to you, Chapter one of "This Means War".

**_Chapter One  
The sincerest form of flattery_**

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!" A scream was heard throughout all of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Heads snapped up as Pansy Parkinson stomped up to the Headboy's door, her face as flushed as a tomato, a white shirt in her hands.

The person on the recieving end of Pansy's wrath, poked his head out from behind his door and flashed her a grin.

"Hey Pans...Happy Birthday." Draco said, knowing the reason for her anger.

"Don't you 'Hey Pans' me! I thought we had agreed upon not saying anything anymore about my 'clingy years'!" Pansy yelled, throwing the shirt at Draco, causing Draco's grin to turn into a smirk.

"Aw..Pans..Do you not like my birthday present to you?" At this time, all the occupants that were in the prefect common room had scattered, leaving Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, and Cho Chang. Draco handed Pansy back the shirt.

"No, Draco. I didn't. I honestly didn't." Pansy said, her voice lowered a considerate amount, but still had that dangerous edge to it.

"What's all this about?" Hermione Granger, Headgirl, came over to her boyfriend and best friend, curious as to what is going on.

"Pansy didn't like my gift, 'Mione." Draco fake-pouted, knowing it would melt Hermione and make Pansy furious. Killing two birds with one stone in his book. Hermione smiled softly at Draco, then turned to Pansy.

"Pans..What's wrong? What did he do?" Pansy said nothing, but thrust the shirt she was holding into Hermione's hands, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose to relieve the pain of the on-coming headache she was sure to recieve any minute.

Hermione opened the shirt, and read it. Her mouth slowly formed an 'o' at realizing why Pansy was so upset. Today was Pansy's birthday. She was supposed to be joyous at turning 17, so Hermione did the one thing she knew would make Pansy happy. She took the shirt, and hit Draco with it, hard across the face.

Hermione's plan succeeded and Pansy stifled a laugh, as did everyone else in the room. Draco sat there stunned, before he finally tuned in on what had happened.

"'Mione! It was just payback for the shirt she got me!" Draco whined, something very unMalfoyish.

"What shirt might that be?" Ron inquired, standing up and coming up to Pansy, hugging her from behind.

"The one she got me for my birthday. You know, the, 'Worhip me like the God I am, and we shall get along just fine.' one." Draco said, and Pansy started snickering.

"I got you that shirt because you act like you're so goddamn high and mighty! That's not an excuse to bringup what I have been trying to forget." Pansy said, exasperation clearly evident in her voice.

"What's the shirt say, love?" Ron purred into her ear in an attempt to calm her down.

"Yes, dear Pansy. What does the delightful shirt say?" Draco asked, glee highly noticeable in his voice.

"It says, 'mmmm mmm mmmm'." Pansy said the last part so quietly, it sounded like a mumble, causing no one to her it.

"What?" Ron asked, very curious as to the saying on the shirt.

"It says, 'Stalking is the sincerest form of flattery!' You happy!" Pansy shouted.

"Draco, mate, I think her shirt is a little more insulting than yours was." Blaise said, standing up, His girlfriend Ginny Weasley following suit.

"Yeah, Malfoy. I mean, you do think that you are a God, but Pansy was in love with you back then. She never stalked you. Sure, she was clingy, but damn." Ginny added in her two cents.

"Oh for goodness grief! Can't anyone take a joke anymore?" Draco yelled out in frustration. Hermione shook her head and sighed, walking over to Draco and giving him a peck on the lips.

"There, there, love. We can take a joke, but not if it's emotionally insulting and degrading." Hermione spoke softly. Draco huffed, and walked back into his room, mumbling things about ungrateful people, Hermione following him in and closing the door.

"Come on, Pans. Come sit down." Ron cooed, leading the still fuming Pansy over to the couch to sit down next to Harry and Cho.

"You know something? I think this means war." Blaise said, a smirk gracing his beautiful features as he pulled Ginny into his lap on the loveseat.

"Hm..Shall we have anotherlittle war?" Harry asked, smiling evilly at the mention of war.

"Yes..But this time, instead of it staying in our little group like last year, let's try and get the whole school involved. See how many people get hit with insults." Cho said, smiling a smile that was eerily like Harry's.

Pansy sat there and listened as the group decided who should be gone after next, smiling at how fun this is going to be. Oh how fun indeed.

"Hm.. Guys. Instead of going after someone..Let's go after something." Pansy grinned, thinking of Peeves the Poltergeist.

"Thing? Pansy, what good would going after a 'thing' be? It couldn't respond back." Harry asked stupidly.

"Peeves! We can get him back for all the horrible little things he has done to us! Each of us can send him something. He's bound to catch the notion of it and hit someone else!" Pansy said, joyfully.

"Yeah! Come to think of it, I'm entirely sure he would hit someone else. Peeves is not someone who you can insult and get away with it." Ginny clapped her hands together in glee, bouncing up and down.

"Ooh..Ginny..Stop doing that. Lap..bounce..boing.." Blaise's eyes clouded over, and Ginny finally remembered she was sitting on Blaise's lap.

"Gross. Pipe down you two." Ron made a disgusted face at thinking of his sister engaged in such an act.

"So it's settled. We hit Peeves. Agreed?" Cho asked.

"Agreed" Everyone chimed together.

**_End of chapter one_**

Rin: Well guys? How was it? Please review. It makes me sad when I see how many hits my stories get but how little reviews I get. It makes me think that I'm a lousy writer.Oh! And if you find a qoute that you like, tell me and tell me what couple/person it should be sent to.

Please review! And thank you very much Amarin Rose!


	2. A Dead Man's Revenge

Rin: Sorry for the long awaited update, but my computer sucks so now I have to wait until my computer is fixed before I can update again. I do have this chapter though. Now, disclaimer.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own, Harry Potter. My hero, the great J.K. Rowling owns all the rights. Unfortunately. My friend came up with the gross idea of having PeevesxFilch, though. For this chapter, anyway.**_

Rin: And now, one with the story!

_**This Means War!  
A Dead Man's Revenge  
Chapter Two**_

"Aargh!"Peeves shouted, throwing a random pot against the wall. "Those little brats!"

"'Not all men are annoying, some are dead. Unfortunately, you are still gracing us with your stupid.'" Peeves read the bumper sticker in anger. "How dare Potty and his little girlfriend!"

"'Intellectuals solve problems, Geniusses prevent them, and idiots like you cause them.'" He was absolutely ticked off now. "Mini Weasley and her boyfriend better watch out."

"'I'm too sexy for the living.'" Peeves was seeing red. "Weasley and Parkinson.. Aargh! Think they're all terribly funny, do they? Well I will show them!"

"Peeves...why so angry, love?" Argus Filch came down the corridor, Mrs. Norris trailing him.

"Children have no respect for the undead, today." Peeves seethed.

"Ah." Filch said. "They have no respect for caretakers either.." Filch went into a long boring rant about dung bombs and the many evils they possess.

"Love? Love? Love!" Peeves shouted, to get Filch's attention. "Just shut up, alright? I've already got a plan on how to get those little monsters back."

"Really? Do tell of this devious plan you have, my sexy." Filch smiled at Peeves.

"Hmm.. You know our headgirl? I say we get her. Her and Potty. And that goofy one, the male Weasley." Peeves rubbed his hands together in excitement. "Oh, I can just FEEL their anger!"

"Hmm.. Yes, but why stop at them? Let's go after.. That sleazebucker, Snape. He owes me some money." Filch then went into another rave on Snape and how he pays a little too much attention to Mrs. Norris.

"My dear, why stop at Snape? We can get Mr. High and Mighty himself." Peeves smirked as Filch's eyes lit up.

"Ooh! I like the sound of that.. You know.. All this talk has me feeling.. playful." Filch winked.

"Why, that sounds grand! I'll meet you in your office in five minutes!" Peeves winked back.

Ooh, everyone should fear Peeves wrath.

_**End of Chapter Two**_

Rin: I know, I know. Short, but hey. What can ya do? Suggestions are always welcome, so please make them! And remember, review! Thank you much!


End file.
